Team Buursma

Team Buursma (with our friend Mickey)

Team Buursma (with our friend Mickey)

When Jeff and I got married, we soon adopted a phrase that we called “Team Buursma”.    We had witnessed so many couples that would speak negatively of their spouse in public settings or talk about their spouse’s bad habits instead of the good. Team Buursma was a simple phrase to remind ourselves that first and foremost we are a team and teams stick up for each other and protect each other.

As we often hear and read, marriages are built on love and respect.  Our Team Buursma phrase is a chance for us to love each other, always speaking highly of the other person, and respect each other, by pointing out each other’s great qualities instead of digging for the negatives to focus on.

As our family grew, we’ve found new variations for Team Buursma.  Jeff and I are able to parent better when we present a united front and avoid opportunities to belittle or override the other parent in front of the kids.

Team Buursma also has meaning for the kids.  When the kids quarrel over a toy or a game gets too rough and feelings are hurt, I remind the children that we are Team Buursma. This means that we need to work together to problem solve when fighting over a toy and we need to look out for each other when someone has been hurt.  Team Buursma also allows us to step out of the role of referee and force the kids to find their own solution together.  This is such an important skill for the kids to develop as they head towards school and their own social situations.

It is so important to be a role model for your family in showing love and respect to your spouse. It is this love and respect that will set the standard for their future relationships.

 

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