Dating your Spouse

a date with your spouseTwo weeks after I graduated from college, I attended the wedding of one of my best friends. She became my window into the world of married couples. One of the things I admired about them as they started their married life was their determination to continue “dating” even though they were married.

My friends had a slightly unique definition of dating, that they called “three-stop dating”. This meant that any date had to include at least three stops at different locations to officially qualify as a date. For example, 1) dinner, 2) a movie and 3) coffee or 1) coffee, 2) browse a book store and 3) go for a walk. As the years passed and their family grew, I was impressed with their determination to continue to date their spouse, but they soon admitted that the “three-stop” had to end due to time and financial constraints.

The good news is that you don’t need to “three-stop” in order to have a date with your spouse. The important thing is to just do it.

Here are a few simple guidelines I’ve been reminded of recently to help couples get back in the habit of dating each other.

1) Pick a date. This sounds obvious, but failure to pick a date is the number one reason married couples don’t go on dates.

2) Choose an outing. Going out to dinner is great and seems to be the usual for most couples. Make sure you occasionally do something outside your box because it’s good for your relationship to do new things together. Even small adventures tend to be more memorable and lead to unexpected surprises that make dating fun.

3) Find a babysitter you trust. It’s always more fun to go on a date if you aren’t worrying or constantly checking your cell phone for an emergency call.

4) Get ready. Remember the time and care you took to get ready for dates with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Doesn’t your spouse deserve that same attention?

5) Have fun. Even if the restaurant you pick has a bad service night or it starts to rain while you’re on a walk, enjoy your time together and enjoy each other’s company!

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